Oliver has been struggling at school. Really struggling. I have been called in on numerous occasions, the inclusion officer and behaviour team have been in and I’ve been in countless meetings to try to resolve some problems. I got so concerned, especially as he’s moving to year 3 in September where it’s a lot of sitting and learning, which he can’t do, I called for an early EHC review.
It turns out he is spending 85% of his time in a 1 to 1 situation or 1 to 2 depending on his mood as it’s too difficult for one member of staff to be with him. He is spending little time with his peers, his recent behaviour has accounted for 90% whereas education has taken the back seat at 10%. He is not doing well in school. There was recently a sports day and he got ready in his kit but stepped outside the door and was overloaded with noise and the sheer volume of people he went into crisis. I tried to find him on the field and was told he was inside. I got to the office and they immediately buzzed me through without signing in. Once I got through the door I could hear him screaming in the hall (down a corridor and fire proof doors) I ran down and was met with two staff who looked helpless and him screaming and bashing things. There was destruction everywhere. Benches overturned, making boxes emptied but I went straight to him and held him tight. He calmed down in minutes and helped tidy up. Took him back to class and lay with him on his bean bag for an hour until he indicated I could go.
In the meeting I was told he was teacher assessed for his Sats (no surprise) and disapplied from phonics test – he doesn’t read phonetically he learns words. I was told that a classroom environment is not suited to his style of learning. The stress of the classroom contributes to his sensory overload. The gap between him and his peers is widening and he knows it. He won’t attempt things he sees others do easily because he doesn’t want to show he can’t do it. He knows he’s not the same. His sense of worth is diminishing at school. He can’t be like them, he tries but he can’t fit in. It’s too much. Trying to filter the sounds and the crowds and learn is just too much.
I’ve talked about dual placement but I phoned the school that offers it and it’s unsuitable for him. Also keeping him in mainstream even part time is going to be of no benefit to him. He’s not going to get anything more from them.
After the meeting we did a lot of talking at home, gathered more information from his teaching staff and requested a further meeting with the Senco. I told her we have decided that he needs a specialist placement. He needs a special school where they sign, use Pecs, have the facilities to let him learn through play and where his peers are like him. There were a lot of tears at the thought of him leaving, they have supported us so much and he leaves a mark on people, in a positive way but they understand that he needs more than they can offer.
Now the LEA are saying there’s no places for him at special school so we have another fight on our hands but we are ready to do whatever necessary to get him the education he deserves. We don’t expect exams and university, we just want him to feel like he belongs somewhere and his achievements whether big or small are celebrated. He has come so far with his language and understanding and his maths skills are phenomenal. I don’t want him to lose what he has and if he goes no further then that’s fine. He doesn’t fit in mainstream school and it’s not fair to expect him to. The pressure he is under must feel immense to him. We have requested a sensory assessment too and this could be easily implemented in a specialist school setting. I hope we are making the right decision, there isn’t another option except this route. I know at home he had calmed a lot but here he is accepted, loved, accommodated and it’s give and take. He does work for me and I play his games and follow his lead so he feels valued and that his ideas are just as important as mine.
It’s been a long and hard month or so and it’s not going to get easier until we get him in an appropriate school. It’s not the autism that’s the problem, it’s the red tape and budget cuts and trying to get someone to actually speak to me. He deserves as much as any other kid, and I will not let him fall through the cracks.
I’m glad his teacher was honest with us. I’m glad school are supporting us. We have plans in place in the interim to reduce the pressure on him in school. We tried mainstream, and it was ok until the focus changed from learning through play to more formal learning. He learns through play and that’s just his style. It’s not a bad thing it’s just different to the norm- but hey it’s our family – we don’t do normal.
Just have to wait for the draft EHC plan to turn up then reject it. It’s no longer appropriate. He deserves the best not make do or putting sticking plasters on it. Change his environment and his behaviour will change. If he’s happy he won’t need to squeeze a tube of paint all over the classroom, or maybe he will cos that sounds like really good fun! 😂